No matter what you do, as a single parent, you must think of its effect on your children. You must be diligent in keeping up with their activities and their thoughts as they grow up in a single-parent home. In fact, the biggest challenge of being a single parent is the effect of your status on your children.

The transition to a single-parent family is difficult for kids. They may feel abandoned or insecure. They may feel isolated and different from other kids, even if there are more single-parent families than ever before.

Your children may resent you for the loss of your spouse, or they may have unresolved issues with the missing parent. As a single parent, it’s your job to keep them talking about what’s going on with them and what they think. Even though they may resist, you need to get them to talk to you about their worries, their fears, and their anger.

And you need to let them know they’re all right. They’re normal kids despite their circumstances. They aren’t responsible for the change, and they don’t have to make up for it. You should give them as normal a childhood as possible and be a role model. Even when they don’t act that way, they look to you as their example of what a grown-up is and does.

Your kids need to know you’re there for them, no matter what. You have a busy schedule trying to earn a living and manage the household. But you must never be too busy for your children. Even when you are in financial trouble, the job can’t take priority over the kids. They need to know how important they are to you. They need to know you love them more than anything else.

You’re going to have to build a new relationship with your children. As a single parent, you’re the only source of affection and guidance in the home. Even if you weren’t close before, you’re going to have to get close now. One good way to do that is to do lots of fun family activities.

Another way that will help the whole family is to assign specific chores to your children that will help keep the household running efficiently. Giving them responsibility will help them feel that they belong and that they are important. It will also give them a sense of accomplishment necessary to build a healthy self-image.

Single parents need to admit that they need help and then get help. You can’t do everything by yourself. Trying to may ruin your health, your attitude, and your relationships with your children. Getting to know your neighbors is a great way to find people who can help you look after the kids when you must be away. Neighbors can also help with household repairs and yard work.

Your neighbors may also be adult companions and role models for your children, but you must be careful. Get to know your neighbors well before you allow your children to be alone with them. Remember that the world is a more dangerous place than it was when you were a child. There’s no substitute for good parental judgment.

Time is the enemy when you’re a single parent. You probably have to work, and that means being outside the home a lot. Unless you have help, it also means your children may spend a lot of time at home alone. You’ll need to take extra precautions and lay out specific rules for time you’re not there.

Children who are alone a lot are vulnerable to drugs and criminal behavior. Gang activities are sky-rocketing. You’ll have to find a way to monitor your kids while you’re not home. This difficult challenge must be met head-on or your children may pay for it with their very lives.

You may have a challenge with your children’s attitudes about you as well. They may blame you for their situation or think you’re not doing things right. They may not show you the respect you want and expect. And they may feel cheated if you can’t attend special events like birthdays, PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, recitals, and other events that parents usually attend. These time pressures are especially difficult for single parents.

If you can’t make the time to make at least some of these events, it’s time to have a talk with the boss. Maybe you can work out a special work schedule or do some of your work at home. If you can’t find a solution with your current job, you may need to look for other more flexible working arrangements. If both are impossible, it’s important that your children know and understand why you can’t be with them. Be honest. They’ll understand the truth better than no explanation at all.

It’s important to remember that you can’t just give time to your kids. It must be quality time that helps them grow and mature. They need to know that you love them and that you need them. Never give them the idea that they’re a burden to you. Tell them often how much you love them. Listen to them. Ask them questions and listen to their answers. Show your interest in them as individuals. Even when time is limited, you can make the time you spend with them special and positive. It’s worth the trouble. And your reward is the love and respect of well-behaved, responsible children.

Even when life deals you and your children a bad hand, you can make life together enjoyable and productive. You can build healthy relationships with your kids and watch them become happy, productive young adults.

Despite the many hard challenges of being a single parent, you must always maintain your perspective and honor the most important priorities. It won’t always be hard or unpleasant. You’ll have many happy times and lots of love and laughter in your single-parent family as long as you keep a healthy positive attitude and keep on working toward a better life for you and your children.

Abhishek is a family counselor and he has got some great Single Parenting Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 65 Pages Ebook, “Single Parenting – Becoming The Best Parent For Your Child!” from his website http://www.Better-Parent.com/126/index.htm. Only limited Free Copies available.
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Increasing acceptance of divorce as a solution to marital problems is one social factor supporting the increase in single-parent families. With that acceptance has come greater tolerance for parents without partners.

Single parents face many challenges. They must earn a living and raise their children without the help and support of another adult at home. They face financial difficulties if they don’t receive child support or have a big salary. Their time is over-booked with work, household duties, parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings, and attempts at private time for rest and relaxation.

Support systems for single parents are growing, but they still frequently feel isolated and alone. New single-parents must cope with children who are having their own problems adjusting to the new lifestyle. They may face anger, feelings of abandonment, and rebelliousness from children who feel they don’t get enough attention.

Although there are no clear census data on the number of single black fathers, experts assume the number to be increasing as well. They express concern that single black fathers may face more pressure than other single parents due to continuing social discrimination, despite less political or legal discrimination.

Many experts assume that males are less equipped to be single parents than females, arguing that men don’t receive the same level of training in domestic tasks and that women are naturally more nurturing care-givers. However, other professionals assert that men are more likely to be objective and logical in their decision-making for the household and that they are more consistent in disciplining their children that women are.

Interviews of African American full-time single fathers conduced by Robert Coles of Marquette University explored why they wanted to be full-time fathers. When the men talked about their motivations, they listed fulfilling their responsibilities, reworking their own feelings about their absent fathers, being a role model, and maintaining an established relationship with their children.

Several new studies have been conducted by experts and psychologists trying to learn more about black single-parenting. There are also a number of websites containing information and advice focusing on the black male’s single-parenting experience.

The following articles are examples of the literature available on the Internet targeting black male single parents.

1. “Parent Trapped: Dating for Single Parents.” Penned anonymously by a male single parent, this article talks about the author’s experiences with dating as a single parent. Assuming his experiences can be generalized to other men and to black single fathers, readers can relate to his joys and challenges.

2. “The Bad Rap Against Mothers.” This article was published in a popular main-stream magazine several years ago, but it remains fresh and relevant. Its author is a single mother who was abandoned by her black male partner.

3. “The Bad Rap Against Mothers, Part 2.” A second part to the previous article, Part 2 more carefully describes and analyzes the challenges presented by single parenthood for mothers. The author imagines what life might have been if she had been the one to leave the relationship. Explaining her argument, the author believes that single parents are well-positioned to raise “exceptional men” who have good manners and lofty principles.

4. “Come Back Home” inspiring excerpt is from the popular “Chicken Soup for the Single Parent: Stories of Hope, Healing and Humor.” This selection acknowledges that everyone’s experience with single parenting is highly personal and that each single parent has their own story to tell.

5. “Get More Time with your Children and Manage Your Child Support” was written for black single-parent males, but it will be equally touching and valuable for white single fathers. The article gives insights into the personal and financial issues single-parent males face.

6. “Dreaming Through the Twilight” is as sweet and mushy as its title but at the same time profound. It is also available as a book that compiles personal diary-type articles on black single-parent males having difficulty coping with their life as single parents.

Abhishek is a family counselor and he has got some great Single Parenting Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 65 Pages Ebook, “Single Parenting – Becoming The Best Parent For Your Child!” from his website http://www.Better-Parent.com/126/index.htm. Only limited Free Copies available.
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